Supporting Survivors of Sexual Assault

General guidelines for responding to sexual assault survivors:

• Identify the person's most critical concerns and access supportive resources; refer the survivor to an appropriate resource person if you are unable/uncomfortable with providing immediate support.  (See resources pages)
• Listen to the survivor in a nonjudgmental way
• Allow the survivor to regain contorl by making informed decisions
• Ascertain whether or not the suvivor needs immediate medical attention
• Offer advocacy and assist the survivor to obtain a sexual assault advocate if desired.  (See resources pages)
• Encourage the survivor to have an exam for collection of physical evidence if the assault is recent; encourage the survivor to not shower or change clothes before the exam
• Talk the survivor through various options or refer her/him to someone who can do this.  (See resources pages)
• Maintain confidentiality
• Assist the survivor to develop a safety plan
• Encourage the survivor to connect with a support system
• Explain that Student Affairs can contact instructors regarding student absences (if desired by the student)
• Encourage the survivor to report the assault (See reporting guidelines)

Supporting Survivors

Common Feelings of Significant Others (Including Family)

• Concern for the victim
• Confusion about how to deal with the trauma
• Difficulty understanding why the assault or abuse happened
• Helplessness - wanting to "fix" the situation so that life can "get back to normal"
• Temporary loss of intimacy with the victim
• Feeling out of control
• Wanting to harm the perpetrator
• Frustration with the legal and law enforcement systems
• Difficulty expressing feelings, difficulty asking for help
• Anger
• Guilt
• Shame

Ways for Significant Others to Deal with These Feelings

• Give support by listening, not trying to "fix" the situation
• Find support for your feelings in a friend, family member, counselor, or advocate
• Have patience and understand that the healing process takes time
• Be sensitive
• Reassure the victim many times that it is not their fault - they they did the best they could given the situation, and they survived the attack

Adapted from the Sexual Violence Center of Hennepin County

Concerned Friends - What can you do to help?

• Start Conversations, not interrogations
  • Open doors for communication with comments like, "You look upset."  You might not get a response right away, but keep asking.
  • Your persistence will let your friend know that you notice and care about what happens to her or him.
• Be Patient
  • Withdrawal from friends and parents is a standard feature of adolescence, but it also can be a sign of a violent relationship.
• Tell It Like It Is
  • Remind your friend about the warning signs of a violent relationship, such that jealousy is not loving, it is controlling
• Trust Your Judgment
  • It is fine to say flat out, "I'm afraid for you.  I think this person is dangerous."
• Take Your Friend Seriously
  • Telling her or him that there are other "fish in the sea" does not acknowledge your friend's feelings

Adapted from the University of Minnesota; Program Against Sexual Violence

Where to Refer a Friend for Help

Immediate Assistance:

Health Services

Maxwell

457-5160

www.winona.edu/healthservices

Counseling Center

132 Guildemeister

457-5330

www.winona.edu/counselingcenter

Sexual Violence Advisory Committee

www.winona.edu/svac