Like any successful Midwest parade, crepe paper, candy, party beads and screaming on-lookers dominated the scene at the hour-long Winona State University homecoming parade on Saturday.
Depending on your position along the route, or maybe just your overall state of sobriety, you may have missed the little incidents in this year’s homecoming parade that will surely be the highlight of someone’s “remember when” story.
For those who were out of town, still sleeping or in need of a little post-weekend refresher, allow me to elaborate on the top ten highlights:

#1: Presidential Spanking

As Winona State President Judith Ramaley strolled through the student section of Saturday’s football game, she was approached by an overly spirited Winona State student who proceeded to hug and dance around her.
According to Michon Mulder, a Winona State student who witnessed the encounter, the student also began twirling Ramaley around and shouting “You’re the most beautiful woman in the world!”
As security began swarming in like the secret service, the student slapped President Ramaley on the butt as he was being escorted away.
“It wasn’t even a little tap,” said Mulder, “It was a full on, open hand ass slap.”
Mulder has also created a Facebook group in honor of the unorthodox gesture.
Fitting perfectly with this year’s Homecoming theme, “What happens in Winona, Stays in Winona,” surely Ramaley hopes this particular jock slap stays in Winona.

#2: National Guard Superwoman
A Winona State female student decided to lend more than just a hand for her country as the Minnesota National Guard jeep drove past.
With the power and grace of a modern-day, onds of serenading.

Student Senate’s Fine Print

The Winona State student senate incorporated the Las Vegas theme into their parade float with signs hanging from a decorated hot rod saying, “We won’t gamble with your money.”

What most students probably didn’t see was words,“But we’ll buy couches with it!” scribbled below the clever promise.

The fine print refers to President Soderberg’s unauthorized summer expenditure for a couch and loveseat set for the senate office, which frankly is not as humorous as the senate thinks.

#8: The Greeks “Shout”

Large men wearing togas and dancing around a plastic, cartoon-looking Trojan warrior is always worthy of a few chuckles.

More than a dozen members of the ¬¬¬¬Pi Lambda Phi fraternity enjoyed a moving dance party as “Shout,” blared from a laptop. Even Wazoo, impersonated by fraternity brother Kellen Gullifor, joined the party.

Dr. Fred Foss, former Winona State professor and Pi Lambda Phi faculty advisor, clad in a green toga, also pranced around arm-in-arm with his fraternity brothers.

#9: Future Warriors Pumped up the Crowd

Youth football players amplified the crowd nearly as much as the loud music and whatever substance was in students’ Nalgene bottles.

More than a dozen young players from a local youth football league dressed in full pads and uniform and ran along the sidewalks high-fiving Winona State students and community members.

The boys were encouraged with pats on the back and loud cheers from the “sidelines.”

#10: All-American sighting

Former Winona State basketball standout and two-time All-American David Zellman graced the presence of adoring fans and took a shot, which he drained of course, at the moving hoop atop the men’s basketball team float.

Surely Zellman will one day be seated aside the likes of Wayne Wicka, a former Winona State football standout and 2006 Hall of Fame inductee, who also rode in the parade.